I try not to pray and ask for things because the good lord has already blessed me with money, power and bitches. But sometimes I catch myself asking the good Lord for things anyway.

The other night I asked him for a world in which faggotry, asshattery and washed up celebrities were punished with death. And it looks like the Lord came through for me.

Actor Cory Haim is dead.

According to the good Lord and the video footage he sent me, our Lord walked up to him and said, "Hey, aren't you that no talent asshat with that whiney, bitch-like voice?" And Haim was like, "Not now man, I'm having some drugs because I'm so sad inside and I can't cope." It was at that time that the good Lord summoned 10 black guys with bats (the Lord does not directly punish) into the room and the men proceeded to bludgeon Haim to death. After Haim was pronounced 'dead', the Lord brought Haim back to life and the group of men proceeded to beat him until dead once more. This process was repeated and after 7 deaths and resurrections, the Lord said, "Behold, I am the Lord and I stand before you with 10 angry black men who refuse to purchase 'The Goonies' on Blue Ray." Then the Lord nodded to Tu Pac and Haim was bitchslapped until he passed out. The Lord made the death appear like an overdose.

I'm going to get to praying.

Praise the Lord!!